Wednesday, June 27, 2012

44. The Beginning of the End of Landon*

You remember how in my last post, I told you to never ever ever take a guy's virginity unless you were 100% sure of your feelings for him? Well I promise there is a truth in it.

As crazy as I was about Landon, I just knew the entire time that we were not right for each other AT ALL. I mean, take a look at how our relationship started. He was dating my teammate when we first exchanged numbers. When we first "got together," we lied about the relationship. It took him demanding affection from me in order to go public with the relationship. We both should have known when we had to lie that it was a bad idea. But still, for some reason, we decided to truck on and attempt to have a good relationship.

Like I have said, and preached, and will still continue to preach until the day I die, sex changes everything. After Landon and I had sex, our relationship started to steadily decline. He wanted sex a little more often than I did (we actually did not have sex again while we were together), and I was starting to doubt my feelings for him even more. It didn't help that James* started to come around a little more. You see, while Landon and I were trying to pretend we were very happy together, James started seeing that girl that got in the car wreck. They seemed very happy together, and because I was so madly in love with him, I was happy for him. I just wanted to see him happy. That is all.

But somewhere along the way, there was trouble in paradise for them. I didn't know it at the time, but they ended things. I didn't know why or what exactly happened, but because they had broken up, he started coming around me a little more, even thought it meant he had to be around both Landon and I.

James never told me that him an his girl had ended things. He just kind of showed up. Then came my school's fall break. James played football, and I decided to stay the break with my best girl friend at the time, who just so happened to be a manager for the football team. So she and I stayed up way too late the night before the game, and then got up super early the morning of for the community breakfast.

After the community breakfast, we were really tired, and decided to go hang out at James' house after with him and his brother instead of heading back to her house to nap before the game that night. This is when my true feelings for James came to surface and I had no doubt in my mind that I was still crazy about that kid.

My name is Blake*, and it seems like every story of mine starts out great and ends horribly.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent. Mostly, I'm the not-so-innocent

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