Friday, August 26, 2011

sorry for bailing already guys...

three words for tonight and tomorrow:


Therefore, I will not be doing my usual blogging. I will check back in on Sunday!
(This is also beneficial for you all, as I will have more stories when we get to real time)

Have a great weekend! :)
You know I will!

My name is Blake*, and this is the life I lead.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

4. Return of testosterone!

If I remember correctly, I left off with heading back to the other end of the state.

I started off second grade halfway through the school year right back at my old school. Of course because I had been gone a year and a half, no one remembered me and I got a lot of attention. Even from the baby second graders. I think I found Jordan* again, but he didn't remember me. I got a lot of attention from a boy named Zeke*. He gave me an extra treat in my Valentine's box at our Valentine's Day party. Even though I was terribly boy crazy, I somehow learned that boys had cooties at this point and hated the attention.

It's funny how a school year and a summer can change your way of thinking. We're skipping over third grade because nothing eventful happened and moving on to the fourth grade. Enter Fred*. Fred was THE BOY that every girl wanted to be her boyfriend, and every girl was. When Fred asked me to be his girlfriend, I was going to be girlfriend #4. I told my mom about it, and she told me I could be his girlfriend (WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?!) but he had to break up with girlfriends #1-3 before I could. So I told him. And he did. Mom loved this kid (and still does to this day). He lived in our neighborhood and would frequently come over for dinner. His dad would whistle for him when it was time to come home, and he would be over at my house before I woke up on Saturdays. I remember thinking that one of my friends, Lizzie*, was jealous of us because she was one of the other girlfriends. She probably wasn't, but it was still cool to think that I had the IT boyfriend.

I think that's enough about Fred for today. He's a fun story and I've got plenty more to share for tomorrow.

My name is Blake*, and I'm such a skank that I was a home wrecker long before I knew such things existed.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

Update on the boys in this entry:
Zeke and I also went to school together until we graduated. About 2 years after we graduated, he began to date a girl who moved to a different state when we were in fourth grade. They are now married and have a very beautiful daughter.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

3. Back to the cousin and XY love thing

You know, I really wish that I could remember anything about my time on the other side of the state. We were only there for a year and a half, and I have vague flashbacks about my time spent there. But one thing I do remember is that no matter where we went, my cousin's boyfriend was always with us. And he was always bringing his brother(?) with him to hang out with me.

We would go fishin' for crawdads all the time. They'd hang out at my grandparents' house with me and her. They'd go with us up to the convenience store almost every day. They'd walk us home from school.

I can't remember either of their names, or what they looked like, I just remember them being there.

I say my cousins helped feed my addiction for the XY chromosome because they were just as boy crazy as I was. Both of them had their first child around the age of 15; one is 2 years older than me and the other is 5 years older.

I probably would have been headed down the same path if mom had not come to the rescue and said she was moving us back to the other side of the state to be with her side of the family. For that, I am forever grateful. I do not have any children (had some scares here and there though) and have completed my college education.

We'll return to the boys tomorrow.

My name is Blake*, and I thank God almost every day that I didn't have children at a young age. And that's the honest-to-God truth. Those babies would have had a terrible life being poor.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

2. At this point, Mom knew she was in for trouble.

I love guys. I love (almost) everything about them. I love the way they can chill and relax. I love that they can take 10 minutes to get ready and look amazing. I love that they like to show off to impress us girls (as long as it doesn't get out of hand). I absolutely love the way they smell.

When did I first start loving the opposite sex? At the age of 4. No seriously. I was a strange child and wanted to learn everything at a very young age. I got enrolled into a local pre-school at 4 years old, and had my first boyfriend within a month of being there. His name was Jordan*, and Jordan and I actually went to school together through high school. Oh how I LOVED Jordan! It was always Jordan this, and Jordan that, and Mom, Jordan and I got married today. Only I couldn't pronounce my R's very well so it was actually Mom, Jowdan and I got mawwied today.

To say I was boy crazy at that young age is putting it lightly. I became obsessed. Jordan and I finished out pre-school, but I don't think we were in the same kindergarten class. If we were, my attention swiftly changed to Toby*. Toby was the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on (at the age of 5). He was super tall for a five year old, beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes, and was impressed that I could read in kindergarten. He even let me read to him a couple times (you know that's love right there!) Ahh...I forgot about Toby.

All this happened before my parents' divorce, and soon after my kindergarten year, we were uprooted to the other side of the state to be near my father's family.

Little did I know, my cousins there would feed into my XY chromosome addiction...

My name is Blake*, and I've loved testosterone since I could tell a difference between a boy and a girl (get your minds out of the gutter people!)


*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

Update on the boys in this entry:
Jordan and I were pretty good friends in high school. We hung out with the same crowd and went to a lot of functions together. He now has a kid, and I think he is still together with his baby mama. We don't hear from him too much these days.

I lost contact with Toby after I moved away, and actually didn't think of him until I wrote this.

Monday, August 22, 2011

1. It all has to start somewhere

Any woman who has similar stories to mine can pinpoint the instant that their life as what society would deem a "skank" began. This is the very beginning of the beginning. I honestly have more than one event that damaged my self-esteem quite a bit, but I fought back and am one of the strongest women you will meet today. (I'd almost have to be to throw my life out there for all the world to read.)

There are also many women just like me that will deny to your face all day long where her issues started: we've all got daddy issues. Ask me this in person, and I might call you a liar. If you catch me on a good day, I'll admit I have a little bit of it, but I'll use the bigger term and say I have a little bit of trust issues.

My parents separated and divorced when I was around 10. I was a daddy's girl to the core. I have three siblings, and we got to still visit him frequently after the divorce. He lived on the other end of the state, so we would drive half way to meet him to spend the weekend with him. When I was little, I didn't know it, and I didn't understand it, but he just stopped showing up. Our mother protected us from this knowledge, and instead began to busy us in sports. We played every sport and began to have tournaments and games almost every weekend. I guess he showed up randomly a couple weekends and called to bitch out  my mom for "keeping us from him." But to her, he had abandoned us and she didn't want to spend time and money driving half way across the state for us to sit for a few hours and he never show. The courts mandated what times we were supposed to meet, and mom always gave him extra time.

When I was little, I didn't really understand that we were being left by my dad. I remember being a little brainwashed by my father about us not seeing him, he would say that my mom was keeping us from him.

I also learned way later in life (after I had gone to college) that what I thought was a whole month of getting to spend time with my father was actually him refusing to bring us back. So I was also kidnapped by my own father. No worries though, mom came to the rescue.

My father's name is Justin*, and he's the one who helped me begin to have trust issues with every guy from here on out.

My name is Blake* and this is the beginning of my downfall into a self-proclaimed skank.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

Sunday, August 21, 2011

As I delve into a world of anonymity

You may be reading this and wondering what in the world "sps" means.

Let me start from the beginning.

I had a recent nasty break up in which I was trying to nicely end it with a very nice boy, but who was a boy that just wasn't for me. He didn't get it, and then psychotically tried to get me to stay.

After the immature text conversation wrapped up, I realized that he was one of many psychotic boys that have popped in and out of my life. I have read many real-life blogs about the crazy stories of anonymous people's dating and sex lives, and decided I might want to write a book. While writing a book is good in theory, there is no way to guarantee that it will ever see print or become mainstream. So what did I decide to do? I decided to create a blog.

For the sanity of me, my family, my friends, and the unlucky guys to be featured here, all the names you read about have been changed. First off, I don't like admitting that this many guys have been a part of my life. Second, I wouldn't want to talk about this in church so I sure as hell don't want my family to read it and know it's me. And third, I know there are more than a couple guys I will be writing about would have a bitch fit over me using their real names. I will give you as much of the story as I can without giving so many details as to who these people are, where I write from, or how you can locate them (I'm sure there are some tech people out there who can figure this all out.)
So I'm basically giving you the full story with the acute details fudged a little bit.

I must warn you, what I write will be real. What I write is a part of my past. It may shock you how a girl can be this bad. Feel free to read and comment, but just know that personally attacking me will piss me off, and I may just go all crazy on you for being a douche. Consider yourself warned.

I marked this as "adult content" because I do cuss quite a bit and it will eventually talk about sex. Didn't want any kiddies stumbling across my site with that stuff out there.

So what does "sps" mean? Self-Proclaimed Skank.
I figure if I can call myself that, it won't piss me off when people say I'm skanky or slutty.
My name is Blake* and these are my crazy stories. I hope you enjoy them and learn something from them.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent.