38. Even better anticipation because I was crazy about this kid.

I went with my mom and both of my aunts to the local department store to painstakingly hunt for the perfect dress for my junior prom. You see, I was a very tall and slender girl in high school, so finding any kind of dress was always difficult. I never really liked the super poofy ball gowns that all of my friends seemed to enjoy, but I was also so self conscious of my lack of chest. I think I tried on maybe 30 different dresses until I found the one. It was a form-fitting one-shoulder dress that was COVERED in beadwork, and it was a fuschia and orange color. I LOVED it. And I thought I looked stunning in it, despite the curse of the two backs I had in high school.

I called James* to let him know that I had picked out my dress. I tried to explain it to him, but as you can read it's kind of difficult to explain. I think I attempted to explain it four times before he finally said, "Blake*, just tell me what you want my tux to look like and I'll go try stuff on." I wanted him to look just as sexy as I knew I was going to feel, so I decided that I wanted him in all black with a white tie, just because the colors of my dress were going to be difficult to match.

I took a picture of the dress to our local flower shop to have them make the corsage and boutonniere to match my dress as close as possible. As far as plans before and after the prom, we got a big group together and decided to go to dinner together before at an Italian restaurant. Originally, there were going to be about 10 of us, but by the time prom came around we went in a group of 19. James had a baseball game the morning of prom, so while I was spending all day getting ready, James was texting me throughout the day to let me know where he was, how things were going, and when I could be expecting to see him.

Two other friends and I had hair appointments at the same salon, and I had gotten my nails done a couple days before. My hairstylist and I had a hard time trying to figure out how to do my hair (this is the same person who had done my hair the year before, and my freshman year when I went to prom...I know I skipped over that). I explained my dress to her, and she said she didn't want to do something like the year before that was edgy, she wanted to give a little more class to it since the dress needed all the attention. She curled my hair with a flat iron, poofed it up a little at the crown, and then started pulling it toward the center of my head in the back. The best way we could  describe it is that my hair looked like it was in a banana clip without actually being in a banana clip. She also curled tendrils around my face to accent it as well.

The finishing touch was my makeup, and I had my aunt do it. She also didn't want to take away from my dress, so she did tan colors to accentuate my big brown eyes. She then added some shimmering powder just under my eyes and on my cheeks to brighten up my eyes.

The corsage and boutonniere each had ribbons on them that matched perfectly. We had white roses and carnations and then the florists found the perfect fuschia and orange ribbons to tie into the flowers. I stepped into my dress and my 3 inch heels and anxiously waited for James to call me and tell me he was ready for me to come pick him up (he was too young for his license, remember?). Almost everyone was there at my grandmother's house taking pictures together and with their dates, and everyone was there except James.

FINALLY, about an hour before our dinner reservations, James called me and said he was ready. I swear that boy could have taken as long as I could getting ready. My aunt let me borrow her Mercury Mountaineer to drive us to prom, so I drove out to his place to pick him up. I knocked on the door and anxiously waited for him to come to the door to see me in my dress.

My name is Blake, and this prom was my favorite. Good friends, good food, amazing date, and I looked damn good. Just saying.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent. Mostly, I'm the not-so-innocent.

37. The fun part about being in serious like with a prude little freshman

The end of basketball season came along, along with my own heartbreak. You see, basketball was my sport. Yes I played other sports, but basketball was my first love. We never were all that good in basketball so we never made it far in the playoffs, but each year I cried after my last game of the season because I knew I was one season closer to not playing anymore.

After we finished up basketball, James* went straight to baseball and I went to off-season for softball. This year, there were only three of us in it, so I worked on my pitching and batting every single day. We also did a lot of conditioning that spring. All kinds of running and bleacher drills. I looked damn good by the time spring break came along.

Unfortunately, spring break wasn't eventful. If I remember correctly, James would still have practices and games, but he would almost always come visit me when it was over because I lived across the street from the school.

James and I would spend our days and evenings watching whatever baseball game was on TV and SportsCenter. He gave me a love for a new baseball team, and we would cheer them on together. Then I would get bored and fall asleep on my bed while he continued watching SportsCenter.

As much time as James and I would spend in a bed together, we never actually did anything more than kiss. Not make out, just kiss. Trust me, I wanted a make out sesh more than anything, but it just wasn't James' style. He barely liked kissing at all. I guess everyone he had been with before were sloppy kissers, I don't really know. Anytime I tried to kiss for more than a couple times in a row he'd pull away. I still liked it for some reason though. It's whatevs.

Since we didn't kiss, we sure as hell didn't do anything else. Not yet anyways. That's to come.

Spring break and the entire month of March seemed to fly by. Before I knew it, prom was coming around again, so I started looking for dresses and ideas for what i wanted James to wear. The cool thing about him being a freshman is that he told me "Blake*, it's your prom. I'll do whatever you want me to. I just want it to be perfect for you."

Coming up next, my junior prom.

My name is Blake, and the carefree, easy relationship was what I loved most about James. however, I also wished it was a little more. Hopefully you'll understand eventually.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent. Mostly, I'm the not-so-innocent.

36. Junior homecoming

You see, when you're from a small town, your high school has a homecoming for all the major sports. Obviously, the big homecoming of the year is still for football, but we also have one for basketball and wrestling.

Now this year, I got elected as a homecoming attendant for the first time. I should have had it my freshman year, but that's a completely different story. Anyways, that year there was only one senior in basketball, so she automatically got homecoming queen. What the athletic director decided to do was take the junior with the most votes and make her the "senior attendant" and take the junior with the second most votes and make her junior attendant. With this came a lot of bull shit from the girls I called my friends. Even though this caused a ruckus, it was nothing compared to what was to come my senior year. But we'll get to that.

James* and I talked on the phone the whole time I was trying on dresses and he helped me figure out which one I wanted. I didn't really like the one I ended up getting, but I think I paid maybe $15 for the dress at an outlet shop in town.

A couple days before the homecoming game, I attempted to donate blood at my school's blood drive. Now I don't know if you've heard of this before, but I have a condition called "rolling veins." Anytime I attempt to donate blood, the needle will hit the vein and all is good, until about 30 seconds after the initial hit. Then my veins get skittish and start to move away out from under the needle. The result is that I normally can't get the pint needed to donate, and lots of blood pools just underneath the surface of the skin, causing what looks like a humongous bruise. It's not a painful bruise, but it looks awful.

The reason why I tell you this is because I didn't really like my dress. Then the day of homecoming, I have this HUGE bruise looking thing in the crack of my elbow. My "friends" made fun of me for it. And for walking with a guy who was shorter than I was. Basically, it was a shitty day all around.

But then, James came up to me just after the ceremonies, wrapped me up in a bear hug and whispered in my ear "Blake*, you are SO beautiful. The other girls are just jealous." And so, I melted. Hook, line, and sinker. We took a picture together, and to this day it is still one of my favorite pictures of us.

My name is Blake, and sometimes sweet words from a boy can make the world a better place.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

35. Nerves, with a shot butterflies

February came around, and I was starting to look for dresses for my junior/senior prom. Now like I've said before, James* and I were together without the title. I liked him a lot, and he liked me a lot, and I knew that I wanted to take him to prom. I just didn't know how he'd feel about going with me. So I finally decided that I did want him to accompany me, and I did what any responsible older person would do, I went to his parents and asked for their permission to accompany me to my junior prom. I'd have to drive us everywhere, and I wanted to make sure it was okay with them for me to steal him away for half a day.

So I asked his father if I could take him with me to prom, and his dad said, "Well of course, you jackass." That's why I love his parents.

Unfortunately, his father also told him that I was planning on asking him to prom. I think it was easier for me to ask his parents than it was to ask him, just because I didn't think he would want to go. So after school one day, before a basketball game, I finally got the nerve to ask him. I walked up to him and told him I needed to talk to him.

He and I were setting out chairs together, and I said "Soooo, James, I have something I need to talk to you about. I kinda sorta wanna ask you something..." and his reply was, "Yeah, I'll go to the prom with you."
"How the hell did you know that?"
"Oh, Dad told me you were going to ask me. That's kind of weird that you asked him before you asked me."
"I was only trying to be polite. I would expect you to have asked my mom if it was okay for you to take me if I were a freshman an you were a junior. Just saying."

So James agreed to go with me to my senior prom. The female manager of his team overheard our conversation and got mad. She had the biggest crush on him, and as long as he and I weren't "official," she felt she had a chance at winning his heart. Either way, his answer made me super happy, and I skipped to tthe locker room to change into my uniform and get my mp3 player.

I had the date, all I needed was to work on a dress! I was the happiest girl in the world.

My name is Blake*, and I still look back on his "yes" as one of the happiest moments of my young love life.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent