As I've mentioned before, Henry* and I actually fought quite a bit. There was one fight in particular that my cell phone accidentally dialed him while my mom and I were talking about him, and she was revealing her usual disgust for our relationship. It's not that she didn't necessarily like him, she just thought he was emotionally abusive to me and that I deserved better.
Henry began tagging along with me to my church on Wednesday nights at my request. Henry had already graduated, and he came to my town one Wednesday night in June. He came down a little earlier than necessary so we could just hang out and go get some dinner before we went to church. This particular week, Lizzie* and Tony* also decided to join us. We all hung out at Lizzie's place for a little bit before heading downtown to a local Italian restaurant. While we were eating, Tony and Henry started making jokes at my expense, and something just set me over the edge. I'm not sure what exactly they said that pissed me off, but Henry got into it BIG TIME at the restaurant. We weren't quite yelling, but I do remember leaving the restaurant before I finished my dinner.
While he and I were in the car together, the fight really escalated. Before I knew it, I was yelling and crying at the same time. I told him that we didn't need to go to church anymore because there was no way I was going to calm down in time (in about 20 minutes). Instead, he and I went back to my house and sat in his car in the driveway and continued to fight. He and I yelled and argued and aired out everything we hated about each other, and then finally around 9 p.m., we decided to just end things. At the end of it all, we were both crying. He begged me to re-think it, to stay with him. Truth is, I knew this was a long time coming. He was heading off to college in the fall, and we were both so emotionally abusive to each other that I knew I would never be able to fully trust him while he was away.
I tried walking into my house and he ran out of his car after me to try to get me to change my mind. It caused us to start talking again, causing me to get back in his car to talk more. I think I ended up staying out there until around midnight, and finally, I just couldn't cry anymore. My last words were "I'm getting out of this car, going to bed, and you're not following me. You're going to drive home, and that will be the end of it."
It wasn't quite the end of it, because we definitely did try to get back together the next day, but it only lasted a couple weeks. I told him to stop calling me (way before text messaging was the way to communicate).
Ten months. We were together for ten months, and then I selfishly broke it off.
My name is Blake*, and he was the first person I ever said "I love you" to. Unfortunately, I found out a couple years later that I said it, but those feelings weren't as genuine as the guy I now call my high school sweetheart.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Update on the boys in this entry:
Henry and I continued to talk to each other off and on. In fact, he and I are still pseudo-friends, and we hang out almost every time he comes to my town. It's actually not awkward at all. Except for when a girl that likes him is a bitch to me because she thinks we're getting back together. HELL NO.
Showing posts with label Henry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Henry. Show all posts
Monday, March 5, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
26. A night to remember
Henry's* parents rented a car for us to drive to his prom. Since it was his senior prom, his parents wanted it to be the nicest prom he had gone to yet. Henry showed up in a very nice rented Cadillac. He knocked on the door to my house and my mom opened up the door. The look on his face was the best part of the night. Now, I was one of the biggest tomboys you would ever meet, so for him to see me with makeup on and everything was kind of a big deal. But nothing could prepare me for his reaction when he saw the way I looked.
We did our usual where our parents took a ridiculous amount of pictures of just the two of us, just us by ourselves, and then us with Lizzie* and Tony*. Then the four of us piled into the Caddy and went to a nice little bistro for our dinner reservations. I had braces at the time, so I had to be real careful as to what I ate. Didn't want to show up to prom with lettuce and stuff hanging in my teeth!
After we finished dinner, we still had a couple hours before the prom started, so we went back to Henry's town to visit with his dad. This is where Henry and I separated from Tony and Lizzie. Tony wanted to take Lizzie by his house to show her off to his parents, and Henry and I were meeting up with Heath* and his girlfriend Dani*. This is the same girl that hung out with us on New Years Eve, so I wasn't very excited to be spending that evening with her. Heath had broken the heart of one of my friends to be with her, so I never fully trusted her, but I digress.
The four of us piled into the car and headed to the prom after hanging out with Henry's dad for a little bit. Dani had a flask and had brought some liquor in it, which she and Heath sat and drank in the back seat of the car. They offered some to Henry and I, but I refused and told Henry that if he drank while he was driving us, even if it was one sip, that he could just forget about me staying at the prom and I would have my mom come pick me up. So because I was a bitch about it, Henry didn't drink either.
Once we got to the venue, Henry and I picked out a table and sat down for a little bit. My typical shoe attire every day was a pair of tennis shoes, so the small 3 inch heels were killing my feet. We sat down for a little bit, until Lizzie and Tony joined us, then the four of us headed to the dance floor and danced the night away. We danced all the normal ones you hear, like YMCA, Cha Cha Slide, and the Electric Slide too. But the one dance that I will never forget was a slow dance that Henry and I shared. "Our song" was a Hoobastank song that he and I loved a lot, but the song never got played. Instead, during the song "Amazed," a country song by Lonestar, Henry sang the entire song to me. Like I said, his voice was sexy, so hearing him sing to me was fantastic.
He and I stayed the duration of the prom, and then returned to his house so I could change. I think originally we were planning on going bowling after the prom, but because we had stayed for the whole time, we didn't want to pay just to bowl half a game. Instead, we decided to meet up with everyone at IHOP. I don't really like pancakes all that much, and to be honest I was exhausted and was just ready to go home. But we pulled into the IHOP parking lot and sat and talked for a little bit, and then he decided that he was ready to go home too.
I can't remember if I was allowed to stay the night with him or not. If I wasn't allowed to stay the night, I know I was allowed to stay out past my curfew. I feel like I did stay the night with him, but I can't really remember. I know I got home very early the next day. Henry and I didn't have sex that night just because I was so tired. It was one of the best nights of my life.
Even though that night created a euphoric memory for me, Henry and I were in high school, and you know how often high school relationships last....
My name is Blake*, and prom can truly be a magical night, just as long as you are smart about it. I didn't drink that night, and it was one of the best proms I ever went to.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
We did our usual where our parents took a ridiculous amount of pictures of just the two of us, just us by ourselves, and then us with Lizzie* and Tony*. Then the four of us piled into the Caddy and went to a nice little bistro for our dinner reservations. I had braces at the time, so I had to be real careful as to what I ate. Didn't want to show up to prom with lettuce and stuff hanging in my teeth!
After we finished dinner, we still had a couple hours before the prom started, so we went back to Henry's town to visit with his dad. This is where Henry and I separated from Tony and Lizzie. Tony wanted to take Lizzie by his house to show her off to his parents, and Henry and I were meeting up with Heath* and his girlfriend Dani*. This is the same girl that hung out with us on New Years Eve, so I wasn't very excited to be spending that evening with her. Heath had broken the heart of one of my friends to be with her, so I never fully trusted her, but I digress.
The four of us piled into the car and headed to the prom after hanging out with Henry's dad for a little bit. Dani had a flask and had brought some liquor in it, which she and Heath sat and drank in the back seat of the car. They offered some to Henry and I, but I refused and told Henry that if he drank while he was driving us, even if it was one sip, that he could just forget about me staying at the prom and I would have my mom come pick me up. So because I was a bitch about it, Henry didn't drink either.
Once we got to the venue, Henry and I picked out a table and sat down for a little bit. My typical shoe attire every day was a pair of tennis shoes, so the small 3 inch heels were killing my feet. We sat down for a little bit, until Lizzie and Tony joined us, then the four of us headed to the dance floor and danced the night away. We danced all the normal ones you hear, like YMCA, Cha Cha Slide, and the Electric Slide too. But the one dance that I will never forget was a slow dance that Henry and I shared. "Our song" was a Hoobastank song that he and I loved a lot, but the song never got played. Instead, during the song "Amazed," a country song by Lonestar, Henry sang the entire song to me. Like I said, his voice was sexy, so hearing him sing to me was fantastic.
He and I stayed the duration of the prom, and then returned to his house so I could change. I think originally we were planning on going bowling after the prom, but because we had stayed for the whole time, we didn't want to pay just to bowl half a game. Instead, we decided to meet up with everyone at IHOP. I don't really like pancakes all that much, and to be honest I was exhausted and was just ready to go home. But we pulled into the IHOP parking lot and sat and talked for a little bit, and then he decided that he was ready to go home too.
I can't remember if I was allowed to stay the night with him or not. If I wasn't allowed to stay the night, I know I was allowed to stay out past my curfew. I feel like I did stay the night with him, but I can't really remember. I know I got home very early the next day. Henry and I didn't have sex that night just because I was so tired. It was one of the best nights of my life.
Even though that night created a euphoric memory for me, Henry and I were in high school, and you know how often high school relationships last....
My name is Blake*, and prom can truly be a magical night, just as long as you are smart about it. I didn't drink that night, and it was one of the best proms I ever went to.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Saturday, March 3, 2012
25. Anticipation is half the fun
I had gone to prom the year before with a friend of the family in the next town over. I bought the dress last minute, and wasn't in love with it, only spent a couple hours getting ready, and had my mom do my makeup. I wan't that into it just because I viewed him as only a friend. We went to a nice dinner and didn't stay at the prom for more than an hour or two before he took me home.
I was determined to make this prom different. Henry* and I had exchanged those three little words shortly before we had sex for the first time, so I knew that this year's prom would be different. I was going with a guy who was my boyfriend, who I cared for and loved, and who I knew would love how HOT I looked in my dress.
I woke up way earlier than I had originally intended to on that Saturday morning because I was so incredibly nervous. I got up, ate some wonderful homemade breakfast of biscuits and eggs, and then called my friend Lizzie*. She and I had made plans to spend all day getting ready together. We still had a few hours to go before our hair appointments, so we decided to go get our nails done instead.
We both went with classier looks for our nails, we both got a French manicure on our hands and feet. She and I talked nonstop about how excited we were for the evening and how excited we were for our boys to see us in our dresses.
We left the nail place and headed to the salon to get our hair done. My hairdresser asked about my dress and how I wanted my hair styled to match it. Since my hair is naturally curly, I decided that I wanted something straight. My hairstylist was a creative genius, and put together something straight that was still an updo. I can't really explain what it was, other than she straightened my hair and then wrapped it around in a bun, but there were still pieces sticking out all over the place, and there were pieces framing my face. It doesn't sound very pretty, but by the time she was finished working her magic, I WAS IN LOVE. It was more perfect than I could have ever imagined.
Once our hair was done, Lizzie and I headed back home to do our makeup. This year, I still saved money by having a family member do it, but I also requested that my eyes be a little more dramatic to match my dress.
Of course between all of this, we made a Taco Bell run to keep us from passing out from the anxiety. It was that late Taco Bell run that made me feel like I was no longer going to be able to fit into my slinky little black dress. So after all of this getting ready, the time finally arrived. Our boys were on their way to come get us for our dinner reservations. My mom helped me into my dress, and I loved how it all came together...the hair, the nails, the makeup, down to the shoes. I loved it all. Now all I needed to go with it was my Henry.
My name is Blake*, and we all know the best part of prom is that "wow" moment when your date sees how pretty you look.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
I was determined to make this prom different. Henry* and I had exchanged those three little words shortly before we had sex for the first time, so I knew that this year's prom would be different. I was going with a guy who was my boyfriend, who I cared for and loved, and who I knew would love how HOT I looked in my dress.
I woke up way earlier than I had originally intended to on that Saturday morning because I was so incredibly nervous. I got up, ate some wonderful homemade breakfast of biscuits and eggs, and then called my friend Lizzie*. She and I had made plans to spend all day getting ready together. We still had a few hours to go before our hair appointments, so we decided to go get our nails done instead.
We both went with classier looks for our nails, we both got a French manicure on our hands and feet. She and I talked nonstop about how excited we were for the evening and how excited we were for our boys to see us in our dresses.
We left the nail place and headed to the salon to get our hair done. My hairdresser asked about my dress and how I wanted my hair styled to match it. Since my hair is naturally curly, I decided that I wanted something straight. My hairstylist was a creative genius, and put together something straight that was still an updo. I can't really explain what it was, other than she straightened my hair and then wrapped it around in a bun, but there were still pieces sticking out all over the place, and there were pieces framing my face. It doesn't sound very pretty, but by the time she was finished working her magic, I WAS IN LOVE. It was more perfect than I could have ever imagined.
Once our hair was done, Lizzie and I headed back home to do our makeup. This year, I still saved money by having a family member do it, but I also requested that my eyes be a little more dramatic to match my dress.
Of course between all of this, we made a Taco Bell run to keep us from passing out from the anxiety. It was that late Taco Bell run that made me feel like I was no longer going to be able to fit into my slinky little black dress. So after all of this getting ready, the time finally arrived. Our boys were on their way to come get us for our dinner reservations. My mom helped me into my dress, and I loved how it all came together...the hair, the nails, the makeup, down to the shoes. I loved it all. Now all I needed to go with it was my Henry.
My name is Blake*, and we all know the best part of prom is that "wow" moment when your date sees how pretty you look.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
24. Sexually active teens
Now I know that from my last post, it seemed like ALL Henry* and I did was fight. And we did fight quite a bit, but there were good days as well.
Even though I had sex way too young and it hurt like hell, eventually I got to where it wasn't so bad. I'm not one of those people that will say the more I had sex, the more I enjoyed it because it really was a few years later that I got to where I WANTED sex bad. But me being the good girlfriend that I was, played along.
I remember one night in particular that Henry and I did our usual date - dinner at our local hole in the wall Mexican restaurant, and then we decided to rent a movie to take back to his place. Then we got to talking on the way home, and he asked if I wanted to have sex before we went back. Sure!
We drove for about 45 minutes all through the country back roads to try to find a spot that was secluded enough for us to park his car. We seriously drove past the place we ended up stopping three times before he finally stopped there. I finally convinced him to stop or it wasn't going to happen. So we stopped. And we did.
*****
On a completely different occasion, Henry and I were just hanging out in his room (door open) listening to music. We started talking about getting busy, and then kinda got after it. Not full-on sex, but the fun stuff leading up to it. While I was helping Henry out, his twin brother Heath* walked in on us. Heath then jumped on the bed as I scooted up the bed to cover Henry up. Heath could be an ass like that sometimes.
*****
And here's one more embarrassing story pertaining to mine and Henry's sex life.
One night, Henry and I were hanging out in his room. I had brought over a camera and we were taking pictures together. This very rarely happened (us taking pictures), so I loved every second of it. This was also back before everyone and their mother had a digital camera, so he told me he couldn't wait to get them developed to see how good we looked together. Then he kept telling me how pretty I was and stuff like that. He knew how to sweet talk with the best of them.
Next thing I know, Henry and I are deep into foreplay when his dad barges into his room. We both freeze, and his dad goes "Uhhh Henry, when you're done there, come in the living room. We need to talk." I was super embarrassed. Henry looks at me and said "You heard him; we can finish up." UHH NO THANK YOU, HENRY. I'm not about to "finish up" when your dad just walked in on us. I made him go in the living room to see what his dad wanted to talk to him about.
I thought the way the dad barged in, we were going to get in HUGE trouble and his dad was going to call my mom. Henry said that his dad just wanted to tell him that his oldest brother would be in town the next week, and what the plans were as far as that was concerned. Henry then left to come back to the room and he goes "Oh and Henry, next time, just lock your door. Or wait until I go to bed."
And that was it. I was still super embarrassed and could hardly look at his dad at all. But that was all he said about it.
So there you have it. Being sexually active at a young age is dumb because you have to sneak around all the time and 9 times out of 10 you get caught and you will be super embarrassed.
My name is Blake*, and sex changes everything.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Even though I had sex way too young and it hurt like hell, eventually I got to where it wasn't so bad. I'm not one of those people that will say the more I had sex, the more I enjoyed it because it really was a few years later that I got to where I WANTED sex bad. But me being the good girlfriend that I was, played along.
I remember one night in particular that Henry and I did our usual date - dinner at our local hole in the wall Mexican restaurant, and then we decided to rent a movie to take back to his place. Then we got to talking on the way home, and he asked if I wanted to have sex before we went back. Sure!
We drove for about 45 minutes all through the country back roads to try to find a spot that was secluded enough for us to park his car. We seriously drove past the place we ended up stopping three times before he finally stopped there. I finally convinced him to stop or it wasn't going to happen. So we stopped. And we did.
*****
On a completely different occasion, Henry and I were just hanging out in his room (door open) listening to music. We started talking about getting busy, and then kinda got after it. Not full-on sex, but the fun stuff leading up to it. While I was helping Henry out, his twin brother Heath* walked in on us. Heath then jumped on the bed as I scooted up the bed to cover Henry up. Heath could be an ass like that sometimes.
*****
And here's one more embarrassing story pertaining to mine and Henry's sex life.
One night, Henry and I were hanging out in his room. I had brought over a camera and we were taking pictures together. This very rarely happened (us taking pictures), so I loved every second of it. This was also back before everyone and their mother had a digital camera, so he told me he couldn't wait to get them developed to see how good we looked together. Then he kept telling me how pretty I was and stuff like that. He knew how to sweet talk with the best of them.
Next thing I know, Henry and I are deep into foreplay when his dad barges into his room. We both freeze, and his dad goes "Uhhh Henry, when you're done there, come in the living room. We need to talk." I was super embarrassed. Henry looks at me and said "You heard him; we can finish up." UHH NO THANK YOU, HENRY. I'm not about to "finish up" when your dad just walked in on us. I made him go in the living room to see what his dad wanted to talk to him about.
I thought the way the dad barged in, we were going to get in HUGE trouble and his dad was going to call my mom. Henry said that his dad just wanted to tell him that his oldest brother would be in town the next week, and what the plans were as far as that was concerned. Henry then left to come back to the room and he goes "Oh and Henry, next time, just lock your door. Or wait until I go to bed."
And that was it. I was still super embarrassed and could hardly look at his dad at all. But that was all he said about it.
So there you have it. Being sexually active at a young age is dumb because you have to sneak around all the time and 9 times out of 10 you get caught and you will be super embarrassed.
My name is Blake*, and sex changes everything.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Monday, February 27, 2012
23. Hello dress that made me feel like a sex kitten!
Tonight's post brought to you by....TEQUILA! (some coworkers and I went out for happy hour after work. OOPS. Blog post commence.
In my last post, I admitted that I became sexually active at WAY too early an age. As you can imagine, this changed my view about everything. Henry* and I had been fighting almost nonstop for almost three months by the time the sexual activity rolled around. I really wanted to break things off with him, but I didn't really know how to. Especially because he was my very first boyfriend.
Me being the SUPER SHALLOW person that I was, realized that it was roughly two months until Henry's senior prom, and I didn't want to break up with him and leave him stranded just before his prom. That, and I went to prom as a freshman the year before and didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to go again.
Also, my family decided to take me prom dress shopping shortly after the sex too, and I found a dress that made me look sexy as hell. Therefore, I decided to stick it out. Because I'm a shallow bitch. But I realize that now.
I bought my dress just before spring break from a department store. It was black, floor length, slimming (but I was a size 6 so everything was slimming), and had mesh plus beadwork detailing on a large portion on my back. Like almost to my crack. On the front, it had mesh plus beadwork detailing for a large portion of my stomach as well. I felt like a sex goddess in the dress.
We got the dress at a reasonable price, then it sat in the back of my closet for the next two months while I endured through all the fighting Henry and I were doing.
My name is Blake*, and I know I'm shallow. I can't excuse my actions.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
In my last post, I admitted that I became sexually active at WAY too early an age. As you can imagine, this changed my view about everything. Henry* and I had been fighting almost nonstop for almost three months by the time the sexual activity rolled around. I really wanted to break things off with him, but I didn't really know how to. Especially because he was my very first boyfriend.
Me being the SUPER SHALLOW person that I was, realized that it was roughly two months until Henry's senior prom, and I didn't want to break up with him and leave him stranded just before his prom. That, and I went to prom as a freshman the year before and didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to go again.
Also, my family decided to take me prom dress shopping shortly after the sex too, and I found a dress that made me look sexy as hell. Therefore, I decided to stick it out. Because I'm a shallow bitch. But I realize that now.
I bought my dress just before spring break from a department store. It was black, floor length, slimming (but I was a size 6 so everything was slimming), and had mesh plus beadwork detailing on a large portion on my back. Like almost to my crack. On the front, it had mesh plus beadwork detailing for a large portion of my stomach as well. I felt like a sex goddess in the dress.
We got the dress at a reasonable price, then it sat in the back of my closet for the next two months while I endured through all the fighting Henry and I were doing.
My name is Blake*, and I know I'm shallow. I can't excuse my actions.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Sunday, February 26, 2012
22. The day I became a woman (at too young an age)
I should have known that the random fighting for no reason would eventually ruin Henry* and I. No one should argue as much as we did, especially at the ages of 18 and 16. What did we have to be unhappy about?
After Valentine's Day, I started feeling like we needed to break up. I couldn't exactly explain why, I just felt like it needed to happen. I think he could sense that I felt that way, and started to be super nice and sweet to me. It reminded me of how our relationship was in the beginning.
March 7th is a day that will go down in infamy in the history of Blake*.
It was a Saturday, and we made our usual date plans to go and get dinner and a movie. Henry's parents were separated, and one of them was out of town for the entire weekend. We made plans all week that this would be the night we finally had sex. At that point, I was the only one of my friends still holding on to my virginity, Lizzie* and Tony* had been having sex for a couple months. They even asked me multiple times why I hadn't "given it up yet."
We actually went to a local steakhouse, where he splurged more money on me. I'm sure it was all in the effort to prove to me that he did love me (we had been saying "I love you" for a couple weeks at that point), and that all the fighting wasn't going to break us apart. While we were out to dinner, I was so nervous about what was coming that I convinced him to skip the movie so we could just go back to his parent's place an "get it overwith." Luckily he didn't take offense to that because he knew how nervous I was. Heath* knew what was going on, so he stayed away from the house until way later in the evening.
I wish I could say that it was magical and I loved it. But first time sex is awful and horrible. I was so nervous that I had a hard time...preparing for it all, and he finally helped me out. As soon as he was inside me, I started crying. NOTHING can prepare you for the first time you have sex. I had been told by lots of people that it hurt the first time, but I just had no idea how bad it would hurt. Because I was crying, he asked if I wanted to stop. I told him no, that I just wanted to get it over with. He felt bad that he was making me cry so he stopped. I literally curled up in a ball on his bed and laid there for a while. Henry kept asking what he could do to make me feel better. Nothing could have helped.
Later on in the night, we got into the hot tub to try to relax. We were attempting to try again in the hot tub, but it was just too painful for me. It was while we were out in the hot tub that Henry's brother Heath came home with his girlfriend. He came out, yelled "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" And ran back inside the house. Henry and I decided that having sex that night was a lost cause, so we got out of the hot tub and went inside. I then returned home later that night and acted as if nothing happened.
My name is Blake, and I lost my virginity at the age of 16. I thought I was old enough to deal with everything that meant, but looking back on it I know I was entirely WAY too young to have sex then. I hope that if ANY 16 year old girls are reading this, they will listen to me when I say HOLD ON TO IT FOR A WHILE LONGER! It will be worth it eventually. I promise.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
After Valentine's Day, I started feeling like we needed to break up. I couldn't exactly explain why, I just felt like it needed to happen. I think he could sense that I felt that way, and started to be super nice and sweet to me. It reminded me of how our relationship was in the beginning.
March 7th is a day that will go down in infamy in the history of Blake*.
It was a Saturday, and we made our usual date plans to go and get dinner and a movie. Henry's parents were separated, and one of them was out of town for the entire weekend. We made plans all week that this would be the night we finally had sex. At that point, I was the only one of my friends still holding on to my virginity, Lizzie* and Tony* had been having sex for a couple months. They even asked me multiple times why I hadn't "given it up yet."
We actually went to a local steakhouse, where he splurged more money on me. I'm sure it was all in the effort to prove to me that he did love me (we had been saying "I love you" for a couple weeks at that point), and that all the fighting wasn't going to break us apart. While we were out to dinner, I was so nervous about what was coming that I convinced him to skip the movie so we could just go back to his parent's place an "get it overwith." Luckily he didn't take offense to that because he knew how nervous I was. Heath* knew what was going on, so he stayed away from the house until way later in the evening.
I wish I could say that it was magical and I loved it. But first time sex is awful and horrible. I was so nervous that I had a hard time...preparing for it all, and he finally helped me out. As soon as he was inside me, I started crying. NOTHING can prepare you for the first time you have sex. I had been told by lots of people that it hurt the first time, but I just had no idea how bad it would hurt. Because I was crying, he asked if I wanted to stop. I told him no, that I just wanted to get it over with. He felt bad that he was making me cry so he stopped. I literally curled up in a ball on his bed and laid there for a while. Henry kept asking what he could do to make me feel better. Nothing could have helped.
Later on in the night, we got into the hot tub to try to relax. We were attempting to try again in the hot tub, but it was just too painful for me. It was while we were out in the hot tub that Henry's brother Heath came home with his girlfriend. He came out, yelled "I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING!" And ran back inside the house. Henry and I decided that having sex that night was a lost cause, so we got out of the hot tub and went inside. I then returned home later that night and acted as if nothing happened.
My name is Blake, and I lost my virginity at the age of 16. I thought I was old enough to deal with everything that meant, but looking back on it I know I was entirely WAY too young to have sex then. I hope that if ANY 16 year old girls are reading this, they will listen to me when I say HOLD ON TO IT FOR A WHILE LONGER! It will be worth it eventually. I promise.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Saturday, February 25, 2012
21. First time I started HATING Valentine's Day
*As a warning, this post is being written while sipping on some yummy blackberry Merlot. May the post commence*
In light of the recent holiday (Single's Awareness Day for my fellow single ladies out there), I thought it was appropriate to skip ahead to my first BIG Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. At this point, Henry* and I had been together for about six months. He and I had our routine every weekend. Since we lived so far away, we usually picked either his town or mine to hang out in, and took turns driving back and forth.
When we were in his town, we would go to a local Mexican restaurant, have pretty much the same thing every week, and would spend about $20 between the two of us.
If I remember correctly, Valentine's Day was on a weekday, and either one or both of us had a game that night. So we decided to make plans to hang out that weekend.
Ok, so I'm TERRIBLE at giving gifts to guys. Especially for things like Valentine's Day, where it's CLEARLY a holiday that's meant for guys to buy girls stuff. I decided to decorate a plastic cup for him, fill it with "kisses" (SO CORNY), and his favorite gum. I tried to wrap it creatively, but ended up using colored cling wrap. Whateves. I honestly don't even really remember what he got me. I think he hand picked me some roses (which I thought was AWESOME) and maybe got me something else? I don't really remember.
Instead of doing our usual routine, he decided to switch it up and take me to a nicer restaurant. It was a restaurant that was in the downtown area, and he had gone to it for prom the year before. It was a little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant, and I was kind of excited to try it.
We got there, and it was way more fancy than what either of us had dressed for. They gave us our menus, and most of it was seafood. They had a special menu to celebrate the holiday, but unfortunately neither of us found anything that sounded too appetizing to us. It really kind of pissed him off when I asked if we could just leave and go to our usual restaurant.
We went to our usual Mexican restaurant, ordered our usual dinners, and ate in complete silence. He was so mad that the night didn't go as he originally planned, and kind of took it out on me. I'm pretty sure we even got into a little fight about how childish he was being.
We made up within the next couple days, but this Valentine's Day will forever taint all of my future Valentine's Days. I like the idea of having a day to express your love, but I feel like it shouldn't be one day a year of all this grandeur. Plus, when things like my night happen, it can ruin the entire evening. If one thing had gone correctly that night, I don't think I would have started having a bad view of Valentine's Day. But he got pissy about everything, and I ended up going home immediately after the dinner instead of going to a movie like we usually did.
I had a couple Valentine's Day that went okay, but this one was complete shit.
My name is Blake*, and sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. Otherwise, you'll piss your girl off.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
In light of the recent holiday (Single's Awareness Day for my fellow single ladies out there), I thought it was appropriate to skip ahead to my first BIG Valentine's Day with a boyfriend. At this point, Henry* and I had been together for about six months. He and I had our routine every weekend. Since we lived so far away, we usually picked either his town or mine to hang out in, and took turns driving back and forth.
When we were in his town, we would go to a local Mexican restaurant, have pretty much the same thing every week, and would spend about $20 between the two of us.
If I remember correctly, Valentine's Day was on a weekday, and either one or both of us had a game that night. So we decided to make plans to hang out that weekend.
Ok, so I'm TERRIBLE at giving gifts to guys. Especially for things like Valentine's Day, where it's CLEARLY a holiday that's meant for guys to buy girls stuff. I decided to decorate a plastic cup for him, fill it with "kisses" (SO CORNY), and his favorite gum. I tried to wrap it creatively, but ended up using colored cling wrap. Whateves. I honestly don't even really remember what he got me. I think he hand picked me some roses (which I thought was AWESOME) and maybe got me something else? I don't really remember.
Instead of doing our usual routine, he decided to switch it up and take me to a nicer restaurant. It was a restaurant that was in the downtown area, and he had gone to it for prom the year before. It was a little hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant, and I was kind of excited to try it.
We got there, and it was way more fancy than what either of us had dressed for. They gave us our menus, and most of it was seafood. They had a special menu to celebrate the holiday, but unfortunately neither of us found anything that sounded too appetizing to us. It really kind of pissed him off when I asked if we could just leave and go to our usual restaurant.
We went to our usual Mexican restaurant, ordered our usual dinners, and ate in complete silence. He was so mad that the night didn't go as he originally planned, and kind of took it out on me. I'm pretty sure we even got into a little fight about how childish he was being.
We made up within the next couple days, but this Valentine's Day will forever taint all of my future Valentine's Days. I like the idea of having a day to express your love, but I feel like it shouldn't be one day a year of all this grandeur. Plus, when things like my night happen, it can ruin the entire evening. If one thing had gone correctly that night, I don't think I would have started having a bad view of Valentine's Day. But he got pissy about everything, and I ended up going home immediately after the dinner instead of going to a movie like we usually did.
I had a couple Valentine's Day that went okay, but this one was complete shit.
My name is Blake*, and sometimes you just gotta go with the flow. Otherwise, you'll piss your girl off.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Thursday, February 23, 2012
20. My first New Years Eve that involved alcohol
To be honest, I couldn't even tell you what Henry* got me for Christmas. I feel like it was probably something good. He was a pretty good gift giver, of all things. But we did spend New Years together. I really liked his mom a lot, and she invited me and my mom over for games for New Years. There were also drinks for everyone, and Heath* was there with his new girlfriend. I wasn't sure about the new girlfriend just because Heath had kind of broken the heart of one of my friends. This friend of mine is one of the nicest girls ever, so the fact that he kind of used her made it to where I didn't trust Heath too much.
However, the longer the night went on and the more intoxicated I started to feel, the more I liked her (this later became a good thing).
Henry and I spent a majority of the night just talking and being obnoxious. Then later in the night we kind of got into an argument. I don't remember what it was about or why, but I'm sure it was just because we were both drinking. We fought, I cried, and then we made up. I'm sure it was all just being ridiculous, but either way, it was a fight that shouldn't have happened. I feel like this was the beginning of the many fights that we had until our demise...but that's a story for a later day.
My name is Blake*, and drinking around another couple that tries to make PDA a competition could cause problems for you and your boyfriend (I'm almost positive that's what we fought about that night).
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
However, the longer the night went on and the more intoxicated I started to feel, the more I liked her (this later became a good thing).
Henry and I spent a majority of the night just talking and being obnoxious. Then later in the night we kind of got into an argument. I don't remember what it was about or why, but I'm sure it was just because we were both drinking. We fought, I cried, and then we made up. I'm sure it was all just being ridiculous, but either way, it was a fight that shouldn't have happened. I feel like this was the beginning of the many fights that we had until our demise...but that's a story for a later day.
My name is Blake*, and drinking around another couple that tries to make PDA a competition could cause problems for you and your boyfriend (I'm almost positive that's what we fought about that night).
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
19. First birthday with a serious boyfriend
Henry* and I's relationship was good at the beginning (I'm pretty sure I mentioned that already). He and I had been together for about two and a half months before my Sweet 16th rolled around. Now, I was just a lowly sophomore in high school, and I abandoned quite a few of my friendships from my school. Plus my mom was a little poor, so we didn't have huge plans for my 16th birthday. Henry wasn't going to let that happen.
He convinced Tony and Lizzie to meet up with us for dinner and a movie the weekend before my birthday. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what movie we went to, but he let me pick it. I probably picked a chick flick. But he did take m to our favorite restaurant in his hometown, and then surprised me with my birthday present. He bought me a very nice Fossil watch with the face of it having my favorite color. I was kind of beside myself because I knew how expensive Fossil watches were.
My birthday also happened to fall on Thanksgiving that year, and he wanted to make sure that I had a good day. Instead of going with his family for Thanksgiving, he instead came with me to my family's. I can't exactly remember the details of my birthday weekend. I barely even remembered him being there, until I was reminded that he came with us out of town. I'm sure I went to dinner and a movie that weekend too, except for in the next state over. Henry and I went to dinner and a movie pretty often. Almost every date.
I will say this about it, it was probably the best birthday present I could have ever asked for. I never expected anything quite like that from someone I had barely been with.
My name is Blake*, and this was the first piece of jewelry I got from a boyfriend. And I loved it! And still have it. what?!
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
He convinced Tony and Lizzie to meet up with us for dinner and a movie the weekend before my birthday. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what movie we went to, but he let me pick it. I probably picked a chick flick. But he did take m to our favorite restaurant in his hometown, and then surprised me with my birthday present. He bought me a very nice Fossil watch with the face of it having my favorite color. I was kind of beside myself because I knew how expensive Fossil watches were.
My birthday also happened to fall on Thanksgiving that year, and he wanted to make sure that I had a good day. Instead of going with his family for Thanksgiving, he instead came with me to my family's. I can't exactly remember the details of my birthday weekend. I barely even remembered him being there, until I was reminded that he came with us out of town. I'm sure I went to dinner and a movie that weekend too, except for in the next state over. Henry and I went to dinner and a movie pretty often. Almost every date.
I will say this about it, it was probably the best birthday present I could have ever asked for. I never expected anything quite like that from someone I had barely been with.
My name is Blake*, and this was the first piece of jewelry I got from a boyfriend. And I loved it! And still have it. what?!
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
18. Silly nights make for awesome memories
Henry* and I got a long great in the beginning. I would skip my high school's football games to attend his, hang out with him for a little bit afterwards, and then he'd take me home (I didn't have my license yet). Most weekends, he'd either come and spend time with me and my family, or he'd come pick me up and take me to his hometown for a date at a couple of our favorite restaurants (they weren't around my hometown). Most of our dates were dinner and a movie. I enjoyed it a lot.
At one point, we convinced my friend Haley* that she needed to date Henry's twin brother Heath*. The cool thing about Haley is that she also lived pretty far away from where our parents were too. There was one weekend that her mom was going out of town, so we convinced the boys to come over and hang out with us. They weren't staying the night, we just wanted them to come hang out. It was definitely a girls' night with a little bit of testosterone injected for some fun.
The girls and I started the night out like normal--movies and snacks. Then we started getting silly. Then the boys came just barely after dark (they had told us they weren't coming anymore) and scared the shit out of us. They started banging on the doors and windows and shining flashlights into the house. So what did we do? We hid. And almost started crying. We debating calling our moms and the cops, but then they called each of us and said they were outside. The bastards.
Once we calmed down, we did what any normal 15-16 year olds would do when they were home alone with their boyfriends: We played hide and seek in the house! (What were you thinking?!)When neither I nor Henry were "it," we would hide together and hold each other and kiss constantly. That's what caused us to be found. Every. Single. Time. We still hadn't had sex at this point, so kissing was as far as it went.
Eventually, we decided to stop playing hide and seek and sat down to watch a movie. I don't even think we finished the movie before the guys headed home.
It was a night full of silliness with good friends, and it was one of the most fun nights I've ever had with some of my best friends.
My name is Blake*, and this was before I lost my innocence.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
At one point, we convinced my friend Haley* that she needed to date Henry's twin brother Heath*. The cool thing about Haley is that she also lived pretty far away from where our parents were too. There was one weekend that her mom was going out of town, so we convinced the boys to come over and hang out with us. They weren't staying the night, we just wanted them to come hang out. It was definitely a girls' night with a little bit of testosterone injected for some fun.
The girls and I started the night out like normal--movies and snacks. Then we started getting silly. Then the boys came just barely after dark (they had told us they weren't coming anymore) and scared the shit out of us. They started banging on the doors and windows and shining flashlights into the house. So what did we do? We hid. And almost started crying. We debating calling our moms and the cops, but then they called each of us and said they were outside. The bastards.
Once we calmed down, we did what any normal 15-16 year olds would do when they were home alone with their boyfriends: We played hide and seek in the house! (What were you thinking?!)When neither I nor Henry were "it," we would hide together and hold each other and kiss constantly. That's what caused us to be found. Every. Single. Time. We still hadn't had sex at this point, so kissing was as far as it went.
Eventually, we decided to stop playing hide and seek and sat down to watch a movie. I don't even think we finished the movie before the guys headed home.
It was a night full of silliness with good friends, and it was one of the most fun nights I've ever had with some of my best friends.
My name is Blake*, and this was before I lost my innocence.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Monday, January 16, 2012
17. Awkward first dates
As I mentioned in my last post, Henry* and I went on a date as a couple for his birthday. It was also our first solo date. We had hung out with Lizzie* and Tony* once before, but had yet to do anything just the two of us.
I actually had a softball tournament that weekend, and he drove to it to see me. He also brought his twin brother and his father. It was very awkward to meet his father about a week or two after I met him.
Being the young cub that I was, I didn't get to play too much, but I still got to play catch and take grounders and whatnot. During one of our games, Lizzie reached over and told me that Tony and Henry were there. I look in the crowd, find Tony, but I didn't see Henry. Instead, I saw his twin brother. They did look a lot alike, but I could definitely tell the difference between Heath* and Henry. Henry was tall and lanky, and Heath was just as tall but a little chubbier, and definitely in the face.
So after the game I walked up to Heath, and he says "Hey babe!" I said, "Hey HEATH, where's Henry?" Then he starts cracking up laughing and asks how I knew it was him. I told him that even though I had only seen Henry once before, I knew what he looked like pretty well. But Heath also had their dad with him, so not only did I meet their father a couple weeks after I met Henry, I also met him without Henry being there.
Once Henry finally got there, we made plans to hang out later that evening after I went home and showered and whatnot. We decided on dinner and a movie. Do you remember my post about Barry* and how I said I was friends with his sister for a while? Well she had texted me while I was getting ready and wanted to hang out. Basically, she wanted to use me and my boyfriend for his car because she wanted to see another guy, Nolan*. All three of us (me, Nolan, and Barry's sister) were under age and couldn't drive, but she wanted to see Nolan that night. Henry was nice enough that he said he didn't mind taking her to the movie, but he just wanted dinner to be just us. I was okay with that.
After dinner, we went and picked up Barry's sister and Nolan, and then headed to the local theater to watch a movie. Mind you, this was my first date with Henry, and I was a little prude. (A lot prude.) Henry and I just sat and watched the movie with Barry's sister and Nolan very loudly made out throughout the entire movie. I felt awkward and apologized to Henry, and he told me not to worry about it, that he actually didn't mind them and that he actually liked that I didn't try that on our first date. I'm pretty sure Nolan even went down her pants in Henry's back seat on the way back. It was gross.
Henry didn't even kiss me as we left, because I told him I didn't want to just yet. He was very respectful in the beginning.
My name is Blake*, and Barry's sister is just as sleazy as Barry...
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Nolan comes into play later in my life when I go off to college, and Heath adds a little more to the story while I'm still with Henry.
I actually had a softball tournament that weekend, and he drove to it to see me. He also brought his twin brother and his father. It was very awkward to meet his father about a week or two after I met him.
Being the young cub that I was, I didn't get to play too much, but I still got to play catch and take grounders and whatnot. During one of our games, Lizzie reached over and told me that Tony and Henry were there. I look in the crowd, find Tony, but I didn't see Henry. Instead, I saw his twin brother. They did look a lot alike, but I could definitely tell the difference between Heath* and Henry. Henry was tall and lanky, and Heath was just as tall but a little chubbier, and definitely in the face.
So after the game I walked up to Heath, and he says "Hey babe!" I said, "Hey HEATH, where's Henry?" Then he starts cracking up laughing and asks how I knew it was him. I told him that even though I had only seen Henry once before, I knew what he looked like pretty well. But Heath also had their dad with him, so not only did I meet their father a couple weeks after I met Henry, I also met him without Henry being there.
Once Henry finally got there, we made plans to hang out later that evening after I went home and showered and whatnot. We decided on dinner and a movie. Do you remember my post about Barry* and how I said I was friends with his sister for a while? Well she had texted me while I was getting ready and wanted to hang out. Basically, she wanted to use me and my boyfriend for his car because she wanted to see another guy, Nolan*. All three of us (me, Nolan, and Barry's sister) were under age and couldn't drive, but she wanted to see Nolan that night. Henry was nice enough that he said he didn't mind taking her to the movie, but he just wanted dinner to be just us. I was okay with that.
After dinner, we went and picked up Barry's sister and Nolan, and then headed to the local theater to watch a movie. Mind you, this was my first date with Henry, and I was a little prude. (A lot prude.) Henry and I just sat and watched the movie with Barry's sister and Nolan very loudly made out throughout the entire movie. I felt awkward and apologized to Henry, and he told me not to worry about it, that he actually didn't mind them and that he actually liked that I didn't try that on our first date. I'm pretty sure Nolan even went down her pants in Henry's back seat on the way back. It was gross.
Henry didn't even kiss me as we left, because I told him I didn't want to just yet. He was very respectful in the beginning.
My name is Blake*, and Barry's sister is just as sleazy as Barry...
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Nolan comes into play later in my life when I go off to college, and Heath adds a little more to the story while I'm still with Henry.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
16. The moment where I get my first real, long-term boyfriend.
If you haven't figured out by now, I'm completely and utterly boy crazy. There's nothing like a good looking guy, a sexy deep voice, or some amazing smelling cologne. I did a lot of my stupid stuff with my previously mentioned friend Lizzie*. Lizzie and I were best friends in high school. Somewhere during the summer between my freshman and sophomore years in high school, she met a couple of guys from a small town across the state. Their names were Tony* and Henry*. If I remember correctly, Henry was initially interested in Lizzie, and Lizzie was interested in Tony. Because she felt bad about it, she asked if I wanted to maybe talk to and meet Henry. She showed him a picture of me and he said he'd like to get to know me. So we got on AIM (does anyone still use that?!) and started talking to each other almost daily. I had a cell phone that I was using, and we exchanged numbers and began talking to each other daily. Henry's voice was deep and sexy. Seriously, a good sounding deep voice will get a guy far!
Henry and I talked so much that I found myself really liking him a lot without ever meeting him. When I would ask Lizzie about him, she would say that he is tall and really nice. (Here's a hint: if your friend can only say he's nice, he's probably not the best looking.)
Before I knew it, summer was ending, and school was starting. Both Tony and Henry were seniors, and so the thought of dating someone older than me was pretty awesome as well!
I'll never forget the night that I met Henry. Lizzie convinced Tony to come to our town for our back to school night, a night where our parents meet our teachers for the semester to establish a good relationship for any future problems. Basically the ones whose parents need to go never do.
Anyways, like normal we had practice right up to when back to school night started. Lizzie and I wore our sweaty practice clothes over to the high school to meet our moms, and she dropped a ball on me:
"Hey Blake, Tony and Henry are going to be here by the way. Just thought you should know."-Lizzie
"WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"-me
"Henry wanted to surprise you"-Lizzie
And boy was I ever surprised. See in my mind, sexy voice = mr sexy pants in real life. No no, Henry was tall and lanky and kind of awkward. And he was dressed grungy. Not that I was any better in my sweaty practice clothes, but at least I had an excuse. I was really disappointed when I met him, and tried to hide my disappointment. But I didn't hide it very well. The four of us hung out for a little bit that evening before the boys had to leave to drive home.
Once he got home, Henry called me and we talked about what we wanted to do. Like I said, I didn't hide my disappointment very well, and he told me that I didn't have to continue talking to him. But I knew that even though I was a little disappointed, I still really liked him. He made me laugh all the time, and we very rarely had a lull in conversation. So, me being the un-shallow person that I tried to be, I told him he was crazy. That I still wanted to talk to him and be with him.
I don't exactly remember if that night we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I do know that it was sometime around then. I know this because his birthday was a couple weeks later, and we did go out for his birthday as a couple.
This is also where the boys will start taking up more than one post at a time. Just wanted to warn you in advance!
My name is Blake, and I genuinely miss having that giddy feeling.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
Henry and I talked so much that I found myself really liking him a lot without ever meeting him. When I would ask Lizzie about him, she would say that he is tall and really nice. (Here's a hint: if your friend can only say he's nice, he's probably not the best looking.)
Before I knew it, summer was ending, and school was starting. Both Tony and Henry were seniors, and so the thought of dating someone older than me was pretty awesome as well!
I'll never forget the night that I met Henry. Lizzie convinced Tony to come to our town for our back to school night, a night where our parents meet our teachers for the semester to establish a good relationship for any future problems. Basically the ones whose parents need to go never do.
Anyways, like normal we had practice right up to when back to school night started. Lizzie and I wore our sweaty practice clothes over to the high school to meet our moms, and she dropped a ball on me:
"Hey Blake, Tony and Henry are going to be here by the way. Just thought you should know."-Lizzie
"WHAT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"-me
"Henry wanted to surprise you"-Lizzie
And boy was I ever surprised. See in my mind, sexy voice = mr sexy pants in real life. No no, Henry was tall and lanky and kind of awkward. And he was dressed grungy. Not that I was any better in my sweaty practice clothes, but at least I had an excuse. I was really disappointed when I met him, and tried to hide my disappointment. But I didn't hide it very well. The four of us hung out for a little bit that evening before the boys had to leave to drive home.
Once he got home, Henry called me and we talked about what we wanted to do. Like I said, I didn't hide my disappointment very well, and he told me that I didn't have to continue talking to him. But I knew that even though I was a little disappointed, I still really liked him. He made me laugh all the time, and we very rarely had a lull in conversation. So, me being the un-shallow person that I tried to be, I told him he was crazy. That I still wanted to talk to him and be with him.
I don't exactly remember if that night we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend, but I do know that it was sometime around then. I know this because his birthday was a couple weeks later, and we did go out for his birthday as a couple.
This is also where the boys will start taking up more than one post at a time. Just wanted to warn you in advance!
My name is Blake, and I genuinely miss having that giddy feeling.
*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent
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