7. Seventh grade saw another first...

So in seventh grade, I started off the year still madly in love with Harry. At the beginning of the school year, a very cute boy named Nathan* caught my attention. Nathan was unfortunately forbidden because of his race....yes my family was very racist. I won't share which ethnicity he was, but just know that there are about 5 races within my family that would be unacceptable for me to date. Instead, I spent a good amount of time shamelessly flirting with him in the hallways.

Nathan was super cute. He was a star athlete in two of the three sports he played, and had no problem letting everyone know he wanted to be with me. Because he was such a friendly and outgoing guy, he was also a pretty likable guy. Hardly anyone disliked him.

The only bad part of Nathan's story is that I was never given any kind of chance whatsoever to see if there could have been any kind of future between the two of us.

So what was my first in seventh grade? The first first was a forbidden love. As nice as Nathan was, dating him would have been completely out of the question.

The next first is a story for another day . . .

My name is Blake*, and thankfully my family has overcome their racism.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

Update on Nathan:
Nathan moved away from my school after his freshman year in high school (he was a year older than me). He went to an in-state school, where he met a pretty lady and they now have a kid together. We recently reconnected via my favorite social networking site, and he's still just as attractive as ever. I'm just not trying to have any baby mama drama.

3. Back to the cousin and XY love thing

You know, I really wish that I could remember anything about my time on the other side of the state. We were only there for a year and a half, and I have vague flashbacks about my time spent there. But one thing I do remember is that no matter where we went, my cousin's boyfriend was always with us. And he was always bringing his brother(?) with him to hang out with me.

We would go fishin' for crawdads all the time. They'd hang out at my grandparents' house with me and her. They'd go with us up to the convenience store almost every day. They'd walk us home from school.

I can't remember either of their names, or what they looked like, I just remember them being there.

I say my cousins helped feed my addiction for the XY chromosome because they were just as boy crazy as I was. Both of them had their first child around the age of 15; one is 2 years older than me and the other is 5 years older.

I probably would have been headed down the same path if mom had not come to the rescue and said she was moving us back to the other side of the state to be with her side of the family. For that, I am forever grateful. I do not have any children (had some scares here and there though) and have completed my college education.

We'll return to the boys tomorrow.

My name is Blake*, and I thank God almost every day that I didn't have children at a young age. And that's the honest-to-God truth. Those babies would have had a terrible life being poor.

2. At this point, Mom knew she was in for trouble.

I love guys. I love (almost) everything about them. I love the way they can chill and relax. I love that they can take 10 minutes to get ready and look amazing. I love that they like to show off to impress us girls (as long as it doesn't get out of hand). I absolutely love the way they smell.

When did I first start loving the opposite sex? At the age of 4. No seriously. I was a strange child and wanted to learn everything at a very young age. I got enrolled into a local pre-school at 4 years old, and had my first boyfriend within a month of being there. His name was Jordan*, and Jordan and I actually went to school together through high school. Oh how I LOVED Jordan! It was always Jordan this, and Jordan that, and Mom, Jordan and I got married today. Only I couldn't pronounce my R's very well so it was actually Mom, Jowdan and I got mawwied today.

To say I was boy crazy at that young age is putting it lightly. I became obsessed. Jordan and I finished out pre-school, but I don't think we were in the same kindergarten class. If we were, my attention swiftly changed to Toby*. Toby was the most beautiful boy I had ever laid eyes on (at the age of 5). He was super tall for a five year old, beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes, and was impressed that I could read in kindergarten. He even let me read to him a couple times (you know that's love right there!) Ahh...I forgot about Toby.

All this happened before my parents' divorce, and soon after my kindergarten year, we were uprooted to the other side of the state to be near my father's family.

Little did I know, my cousins there would feed into my XY chromosome addiction...

My name is Blake*, and I've loved testosterone since I could tell a difference between a boy and a girl (get your minds out of the gutter people!)

 

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

Update on the boys in this entry:
Jordan and I were pretty good friends in high school. We hung out with the same crowd and went to a lot of functions together. He now has a kid, and I think he is still together with his baby mama. We don't hear from him too much these days.

I lost contact with Toby after I moved away, and actually didn't think of him until I wrote this.

1. It all has to start somewhere

Any woman who has similar stories to mine can pinpoint the instant that their life as what society would deem a "skank" began. This is the very beginning of the beginning. I honestly have more than one event that damaged my self-esteem quite a bit, but I fought back and am one of the strongest women you will meet today. (I'd almost have to be to throw my life out there for all the world to read.)

There are also many women just like me that will deny to your face all day long where her issues started: we've all got daddy issues. Ask me this in person, and I might call you a liar. If you catch me on a good day, I'll admit I have a little bit of it, but I'll use the bigger term and say I have a little bit of trust issues.

My parents separated and divorced when I was around 10. I was a daddy's girl to the core. I have three siblings, and we got to still visit him frequently after the divorce. He lived on the other end of the state, so we would drive half way to meet him to spend the weekend with him. When I was little, I didn't know it, and I didn't understand it, but he just stopped showing up. Our mother protected us from this knowledge, and instead began to busy us in sports. We played every sport and began to have tournaments and games almost every weekend. I guess he showed up randomly a couple weekends and called to bitch out  my mom for "keeping us from him." But to her, he had abandoned us and she didn't want to spend time and money driving half way across the state for us to sit for a few hours and he never show. The courts mandated what times we were supposed to meet, and mom always gave him extra time.

When I was little, I didn't really understand that we were being left by my dad. I remember being a little brainwashed by my father about us not seeing him, he would say that my mom was keeping us from him.

I also learned way later in life (after I had gone to college) that what I thought was a whole month of getting to spend time with my father was actually him refusing to bring us back. So I was also kidnapped by my own father. No worries though, mom came to the rescue.

My father's name is Justin*, and he's the one who helped me begin to have trust issues with every guy from here on out.

My name is Blake* and this is the beginning of my downfall into a self-proclaimed skank.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent