Sunday, May 20, 2012

40. Things aren't always what they seem

You see, what I didn't mention in my two previous posts about James* was that he kind of broke my heart. And by kind of, I mean that everything was going really well between the two of us, but three days before my junior prom, THREE FREAKING DAYS, he told me that he couldn't be with me anymore. Back then, James was 110% serious about playing baseball after high school. He had a friend that had a serious girlfriend, and watched the friend slowly lose sight of his dreams to play baseball after high school. However, I was not the same type of girl as the other girlfriend (I never have been and I never will be). It broke my heart to have him let me go like that, but I told him that I understood...I didn't necessarily like it, but you can't force someone to have feelings for you.

Not to mention, a girl that he cared very deeply for had gotten into a horrific car accident and almost lost her life. They had been friends for a majority of their lives, and there's no way I could compete with their relationship. So I took him to a friend's for them to go to the hospital together, and drove away thinking that was the end of James and I.

After prom, we had about three weeks left of school before we were out for the summer. Those three weeks were agonizing. James still sat at our lunch table every day, so I had to endure being around him 24/7 at school while I still wanted to be with him.
The baseball team made it to the state playoffs that year, and I went halfway across the state to watch them. Unfortunately, the lost in the state finals that year, and I so desperately wanted to walk up to James after the game and let him know that I thought he played well and that I was there for him. But the girl friend of his was there, so I just left quietly and put my feelings aside.

I really wish that I was completely happy during my junior prom, but I knew it was going to be one of my last nights with James. It made me so sad because I was crazy about that kid, but I had to respect him and his feelings. So I made myself miserable to make him happy.

My name is Blake*, and I only thought my heart was broken with Henry*. Sadly, this wasn't the last time I let James break my heart.


*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent. Mostly, I'm the not-so-innocent.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

39. Junior Prom part 2

Oh man. Sorry about that month long hiatus. I don't know where the time went. But let's get back to the story....

So I left you all in anticipation about once James* finally opened his front door to let me in.
I didn't know that James was going to be home alone, but he opened the door and just stopped for a second. He seemed to be a little speechless, which mad me grin from ear to ear. I rushed his butt out the door and sped back to my house so that we could take a few pictures with my family before we got on our way to dinner. James and I met up with everyone else at an Italian restaurant in town. When I say we had a big group, I mean we had a HUGE group. I'm pretty sure we had either 17 or 19 people. As you can imagine, dinner took a forever long time, and we ended up getting to the prom venue about an hour and a half after it started.

First and foremost, I have was, am, always have been, and always will be a lover of dancing. So I went to the prom to get my groove on. Unfortunately, my huge group of 17 or 19, including my James, didn't share my love of dancing the night away. Well, all except for one person. You see, Chase* came with us to the prom. He was a year older than I was, so it was his senior prom. And Chase and I had a little bit of history. My freshman year in high school, he and I were on the football homecoming planning committee. This year just happened to be the last year that my school held a dance. Chase was one of the nicest guys in school, and he asked me to dance....then told me that he thought I was beautiful I just ended up telling him I wasn't interested (remember, I couldn't tell you who I liked freshman year). After that, Chase hung out with my group of friends, which is how he ended up going to the prom with my huge group.

Anyways, most of my friends stood off to the side during the dancing part, including James. Every now and then, I could drag James to the dance floor for a slow dance, but he still wasn't a fan. Chase would dance with me quite a bit, and I think it finally gave James a clue that he needed to spend time with ME.

After we were at the venue for about an hour, everyone decided they wanted to leave to head to a bowling alley.I however, was not done dancing the night away, and told James he could leave with them if he wanted but I was staying put. He looked at me like I was crazy, and ended up staying the duration of the prom just for me. I knew he wanted to leave just as much was everyone else, but because he cared about me, he stayed just for me.

It was kind of a good thing he did too, I won a $50 door prize and he won a $100 door prize for staying the whole time. It was legit.

Afterwards, we went bowling for roughly an hour, then went and hung out with some of the guys in our group at his house.

I took him home roughly around 4 a.m., and enjoyed getting to sleep in the entire Sunday morning, reminiscing about how perfect it was spending my entire evening with James.

My name is Blake*, and I was crazy about that kid at this point.

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent. Mostly, I'm the not-so-innocent.


Chase went into the military after high school. Right now he is engaged. I don't talk to him much anymore.